Jayabheri Dinner Menu

One perk is that the Google U.S. expats have dinner prepared for us each night except Sunday. It happens to be inside Jon's apartment, I guess because he has the largest one. A guy named Shyam who we've never met emails the menu to us each day. There are always vegetarian and non-vegetarian options. India caters to veg diets way better than America. Airplanes have veggie meals as a main option, and even McDonald's has more non-meat items than meat. And no beef, because cows are sacred. "Holy Cow" takes on a new meaning.

There's also always a theme to each dinner: either Mexican, Chinese, Continental, Italian, or Indian. It's a nice variety, but these food types should be in quotes because it's usually a blend of something and Indian anyway. The food is tasty. But what I enjoy even more than the food is the description of the food. There have been some great phrases and misspellings. Here are my favorites, with key parts bolded:

INTERESTING SPELLINGS

American chopsy : Fried noodles with tomato,capsicum, onion, beans stir fried with spicy schezwan sauce.

Okra in tomatoes : Shallow fried ladies finger sauteed in tomato concassee, garnished with grated cheese.

Chicken Manchurian: Born less chicken Fried in flour batter then stir fried with spicy Manchurian sauces.

Paratha : Indian bread, whole wheat floor rolled in to bread & shallow fried on hot plate.

Grilled Chicken with oyster sauce : Boneless chicken pieces marinated with muster paste, grilled & cooked in oyster sauce.

Fish n chips : Boneless fish, coated with seasoned egg batter with corn flaks & oats breadcrumb , deep fried & served with toter sauce.

Veg Au gratin : Blended Vegetables with white sauce finished with grated Cheese baked in salamander. (I hope this one was a misprint!)

JUSTIFICATIONS

Shyam doesn't just want to let you know what they're cooking, but why they did things a certain way.

Boiled vegetables : Farm fresh vegetables perfectly boiled to retain natural nutrients, served without any seasonings.

Steamed Vegetables : Assorted vegetable boiled to add natural food to the menu.

Corn Florentine : American corn & spinach cooked in white sauce & baked with Parmesan cheese to give the aroma.

INTERESTING WORDING & CONTEXT

Saffron Rice : Soft boiled rice sauteed in butter flavoured with saffron, seasoned to taste.

Green Salad : Assorted vegetables chopped in fancy shapes, served as natural food. (I didn't notice fancy shapes but I'll be more observant next time...)

Chicken Steak : Boneless chicken marinated with mustard paste garlic & herbs, cooked in brown sauce. (They say color is important in cooking, but I don't know if brown sounds very appetizing.)

EXTREME ATTENTION TO DETAIL

Mexican rice : Soft boiled rice sauteed in kidney beans & Chilly flakes, garnished with chopped parsley.

JUST PLAIN CUTE

Grilled chicken in BBQ sauce : Chicken pieces marinated with little spicy seasonings & cooked in pan BBQ sauce.

The meat options are usually both chicken, which gets a bit old. Sometimes the chicken dishes on the same night are even similar. For example...

Non Vegetarian Dishes :
Grilled Chicken : Boneless chicken marinated grilled with brown sauce flavoured with black pepper sauce.
Chicken with mushroom in black pepper sauce :Boneless chicken marinated grilled with mushroom black pepper sauce & cooked with mushroom sauce

Dessert is almost always cut fruit. Sometimes I think why bother including it on the menu. On January 15 though there was a comma:

Dessert : Cut Fruits,

And actually on three occasions they went nuts and served fruit custard. I requested ice cream last week and tonight we each had a slice from the cold sweet loaf. The guy who prepares our food is adorable. It's always "Yes Madam" or "No Madam" with a smile. Every native Indian does a head bob that means "ok," but we like his fast short one the best.